Many years ago I studied Neuro-Linguistic Programming/NLP which is a psychological model to help one understand why people behave the way they do. To understand someone it's important to study their thoughts, conditioning, belief systems and their Representational Systems. Representational Systems refer to what senses dominate people's behaviour. An artist, for instance, is bound to be visually orientated; while a musician might be predominantly auditory. At the time I found I was very visual and auditory. Over the years I've developed my kinaesthetic side though my olfactory (smell) and gustatory (taste) are not so well developed.
As part of the course, we were taught how to be in rapport with someone by matching their representational systems. In other words, learn how to speak someone's language. For instance, if someone visual is sharing something that's important, the therapist can speak his language by saying "I see what you mean." To an auditory individual you respond "I hear you", etc.
To help us understand individual behaviour, we had to test the adage: "Don’t' judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes." We split up into pairs. The object of the exercise was to mimic our partner's behaviour. I was paired off with this man who had a slight limp. We decided to go for a walk while he copied my behaviour. I took a banana with me to munch on the way and he took one as well. His feedback of me was I was doing everything really fast. He said he didn't see me chewing, I just gobbled up my banana. He was right as I do tend to gobble rather than chew. He said at one point when I was crossing the road, he didn't see me check for traffic or I must have done it really fast. Out of self-preservation, he made sure the road was clear before he crossed over.
When it came to my turn to mimic him, I found I had to twist my body to match his limp. As hard as I tried, I didn't feel comfortable matching his movements. I realised he was limping in a way that was perfectly him.
I believe the tools we were taught in NLP were the equivalent of studying a glossary. A glossary is a list and explanation of technical terms relating to a particular subject. The purpose of a glossary is to prevents one from making assumptions based on previous experiences. For instance, in Mary Baker Eddy's (MBE) book "Science and Health with Keys to the Scriptures" she has included a glossary which explains what she means by certain words. This is how she defines God:
GOD. The great I AM; the all-knowing, all-seeing, all-acting, all-wise, all-loving, and eternal; Principle; Mind; Soul; Spirit; Life; Truth; Love; all substance; intelligence. Science and Health GlossaryI have observed in other models, mind is seen as a structure of ideas likely to keep one in bondage. In the MBE model, Mind is simply a synonym for God which is boundless Spirit. In some of my writings I also refer to God as Mind.
Here's MBE's definition of ego:
I, or EGO. Divine Principle; Spirit; Soul; incorporeal, unerring, immortal, and eternal Mind. Science and Health GlossaryAs we can see, MBE's definition of "ego" is totally different from the popular psychological model of ego which tends to be negative.
So in the NLP model, we were actually being taught how to study each individual's glossary that would guide the therapist into the individual's behaviour.
I believe another way one can have access to each individual's glossary is to tune into the One Universal Mind that I believe we all are. In other words, to be in rapport, all I have to do is be still and listen to the One. The One will then guide me how to be with each individual. I will find myself using the right words and sharing the appropriate insights that the other can resonate with.
I am the Universal Glossary.
Enocia
Related articles: The Voice of the All; The Problem with Censorship; Your Desires or Mine?; Drink to Your Heart's Content; Harmfulness versus Harmlessness; Mind Reader; Mind Control; Being the Street Finder; What is the Ego?; Rapport and Roman Numerals; Be Like a Chair; Paradigms; Oneness is Not Sameness
